“Pour Some Sugar On Me” with the name of LUBE!”
Let’s talk about a touchy subject – lubrication!!!
Did you know that the “wetness” of a vagina does not indicate arousal? A woman could be totally into the sexual experience and not super lubricated. Or she could be damp but NOT want to be intimate. The best guide to how aroused a woman is to ASK her!
But natural lubrication levels change throughout life. Some physiological factors that affect lubrication can include hormonal birth control, pregnancy, breast feeding, menopause, stress, illness, thyroid issues, clogged glands, recent infection and cancer treatment to name just a few. There are also emotional pieces to lubrication and arousal that are very important.
The lubrication our body provided naturally is water based. For some vaginas this is enough, but for some others, more help may be needed to keep the tissues slippery and allow nice gliding with penetration. When I hear complaints of burning, stinging, pinching or spotting after penetration, I start to wonder about lubrication levels. There is also a difference between vaginal moisturization and lubrication and finding this balance can be key!
If you’ve been having issues with sex, one of the first areas to explore can be lubrication if you’re trying to DIY problem solve. You may be a little overwhelmed with where to start because the lube market is a LARGE one.
It’s always best to reach out to a skilled practitioner to discuss the specific issues you’re having and get guidance on which lube is right, but here is a little guidance.
There are three basic types of lube. Water based, oil based and silicone based. There are also hybrid products. One of my biggest requests when choosing a lubricant is to avoid ingredients like glycerin, parabens, propylene glycol that can be very irritating to those delicate genital tissues. I also ask patient’s to initially avoid scents, flavors, and enhancer features like warming, cooling or tingling.
Water-based products work well with condoms, dilators and sex toys and easily rinse off. These may need to be reapplied as they can absorb into the skin. Since they absorb easily, this is not always the BEST choice for someone who feels very dry. Some of my favorite brands for water based choices include Slippery Stuff, Good Clean Love, Yes Yes Yes, Lola, Dessert Harvest and Sustain to name a few.
Next on my list comes oil-based products. These provide thick coating and last longer. These can weaken condoms so if this is your primary form of birth control or STI prevention this may not be a good choice. Oil based products can also degrade latex sex toys so just be aware of that. My favorites to recommend are almond oil and olive oil. Bonus is, you can buy them at the grocery store if you’re shy about the “family planning” aisle. I also like the added bonus that these have a nice moisturizing effect which feels really nice to a vagina that is not super moist all by itself.
Silicone-based lubricants last long but are slick and can be difficult to rinse off. They work in water and do not dry out, and have better endurance if you’re into marathon sex sessions (or just need extra time to get where you need to go). These are also recommended for patients with sensitive skin. The brands I like for this type of lubricant are Pjur Woman Bodyglide and Uberlube!
There are also hybrids which are a combo of oil, silicone and/or water products. The one I most commonly recommend is Sliquid Silk.
Ultimately, you may need to trial a few to find the one that feels and works the best for you. A pelvic floor PT is likely to have lots of samples for you to try solo or with a partner. I have samples and coupon codes for some, so reach out if you like to save $$$ or want to try something new.
Perfectly Yours,
Dr. Mo
